I LOVE ministering to women with all my heart!!! God has given me the gift of encouraging, inspiring and empowering women to live spiritually and emotionally healed and whole. I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT THIS IS MY PURPOSE IN LIFE! (This is where the "faux pas" come in) The women that are doing what I've been called to do don't quite look like me.. at least her background doesn't match mine! She went to college right out of high school, after graduating with honors. She began working at the Church where she grew up and faithfully served in ministry. She began gleaning from the leaders in preparation for the future she knew she had in ministry. She married her college sweetheart who also attended the church and worked in ministry. They've been together for 20 years and are raising their 3 children under one roof. Her husband supports the family financially while she goes to seminary and obtains her masters degree in Theology. Now she's preaching, teaching and ministering the Word to women all over the world and has become a household name. She's living her dream (seemingly my dream) just like she planned, ( wish I'd stuck to my plan) just like the vision God gave her (and me so I thought) for her life. (but what about my life?!?)
WELL, it's obvious that this is NOT my story! You see, I'm not the girl in my head that I constantly compare myself to. I'm not the girl that followed the straight and narrow path and did everything right. I'm not the girl that fell in line with the legacy of my perfect sisters or heeded the warnings of my mother. I'm not the girl that learned from others mistakes in hopes of never following their footsteps. Nope, I'M NOT THAT GIRL!! My walk was not THAT walk!
On the contrary, I am the girl that learned everything the hard way. The girl that made mistakes over and over and over and over and over again. I'm the girl that lived life with her hands in the air and her feet on the gas! (Thanks India) I never went to college and failed at marriage. I'm the girl that chose tattoos, body piercings and alcohol in failed attempts to drown out my spiritual foundation, personal convictions and truth. I am the girl who's life was filled with turmoil and pain, bad decisions and consequences. THIS is my story. One of disobedience and distance, guilt and shame.
Then God begins to speak (remember this is a conversation) and in all of His infinite wisdom reveals what my tale TRULY is. He says, "True this is all part of your story. But more importantly, yours is a picture of My Grace and Mercy, Love and Forgiveness. It is the epitome of Repentance and Redemption, Victory and Triumph. You are the my sheep that was lost and is now found; you were blinded by sin, but now can clearly see. Your brokenness has been healed, your mind renewed and spirit liberated! Now you are capable of being the vessel that I always intended for you to be."
My Passion and Purpose is to minister Truth to women. Not the perfect, but to the imperfect like me!! The hurting, broken, those weighted down with guilt and shame. Women that have made mistake after mistake after mistake, bad decision after bad decision after bad decision. You who feel that you've gone too far and there is no way out. I was sent for you!! My story is for you!! I've been called to remind you of a few important things:
1)God STILL Loves you!!!!
2)There is NO mistake or bad decision that will ever change God's Love for you.
3)God is waiting patiently for you with His arms open wide, to heal EVERY hurt and carry EVERY burden that you bare.
4)You can be COMPLETELY healed and whole. As long as you're breathing there is Hope...DON'T GIVE UP!!!
I don't know who I'm writing this for, but you know who you are. You know if this has touched to your heart. God is calling for you imperfect girl! He is knocking at the door of your heart...please don't ignore Him. Have a conversation with Him, He's ALWAYS listening! He wants to give you beauty in place of the ugliness and Purpose for all of the pain you've endured.
It's your time, Our time!! Time for the imperfect girls to stand up, Healed, Whole and Free to take our rightful place in the Kingdom as representatives, not of our imperfections, but as a representation of our PERFECT GOD!!!!!!!!
I Love you Ladies...
La Shawn Spry
Your Purpose Pusher
