Being a "Lady" is DOPE!!!!!!

So, yesterday was mommy/daughter day for me and my 19 year old. Between work, school and her social life our one on one time is rare, yet still important, so we make it happen whenever we can! Anyway, as we sat there chatting and my baby is catching me up on everything that's been going on in her life, the strangest thing started to happen. I started to "see" her. (stay with me I'm going somewhere, lol) Okay, you remember the movie Avatar right? (I know good and well ALL of ya'll said YES!!) Well, remember the part where Zoe Saldana's character, Neytiri, told her love interest, Jake, "I see you"?? Well, THAT's what I'm talking about. Like I wasn't just listening to her words or looking at her face. For the first time, I was really "seeing" her. I noticed the fact that she speaks with her eyes, just like me and her smile lights up a room. I paid attention to how clearly she articulates her thoughts and feelings, with sincerity, honesty and conviction. I realized her body language exuded the confidence that she fought all of her life to obtain and the strength she'd gained in the process. Her voice inflection and words breathed both kindness and passion. I also saw the potential of the BEAST she'd involuntarily inherited from both her father and I. Although tamed by the power of awareness, still ever so present. I could go on and on, but my point is, yesterday I could see the strong foundation of a beautifully intelligent young lady. Not a hoe or a trick, not a b*^ch, video vixen, hot girl or a THOT. On the contrary, my baby girl has become an exquisitely DOPE young WOMAN!!!!!!

I can already hear the voices out there, "Well why does she seem surprised???" To be honest, I am sincerely grateful!! Just in case you haven't been paying attention for the last 20 years, allow me to catch you up. In our current society, being a "Lady" has seemingly become obsolete!!! It seems to be some type of farce to this generation to carry yourself in a manner deserving of the respect and honor. When I was growing up the caliber of women that I had to look up to was so very different from the examples our babies have now. Now let me clarify MY perception of what a Lady is, so there's no confusion on what I mean. To me a Lady is graceful and poised, elegant and classy. She is both compassionate and kind, yet strong and no nonsense. She carries herself with dignity and gives others the respect she expects to receive. She fears God and Loves His people. She prays and she serves Church and community. She Loves her family unconditionally and she protects them by any means necessary. She is quiet and observant. When she enters the room, her very presence commands the attention of all.

This description may sound like a fairy tale to some, but for me I see this woman vividly! I call THIS woman Mommy, Auntie, Sister, Cousin, Teacher, First Lady. From the women in my family, to the teachers in my elementary school (who by the way were all over the age of 40 back then), even to the women I admired on television and in music and the movies (Phylicia Rashad, Cicely Tyson, Diahann Caroll, Lena Horne, etc.). When I was growing up, there were examples of women all around me as a reminder that "Being a Lady" is DOPE!!! They were a constant reminder that you can be sexy, without being naked. You speak, before you've said a word. You can be flirty, without being trashy. You can be soft and not be a doormat. You can be sassy and stand on what you believe, without being rude and condescending. They taught me to know my worth, know who I am, to never compromise my values and morals. They taught me to stand for something or I'll fall for anything. They taught me to be a forever student and continue learning life's lessons and teaching what I learn. They taught me to own my past with pride because every experience creates the woman I am to Become. They taught me Self Love, Self Care, Self Acceptance and Self Confidence. They taught me that the truth will always out live a lie and to hold my head up high, NO MATTER WHAT!!

So to mommy, auntie, sisters, cousins, teachers and even actresses I want to say THANK YOU!! Thank you for carrying yourselves in a manner that constantly and consistently exuded characteristics of the woman within. Thank you for giving me the qualities and teaching me the lessons that I can now pass on to my daughters and granddaughters and great granddaughters. Thank you for cultivating all the potential I carry within. And most importantly, thank you for showing me that "Being a Lady" is STILL absolutely, positively, unquestionably and undeniably.... DOPE!!!!!!!

Befriend DOPE Ladies, Raise DOPE Ladies, BECOME DOPE LADIES,

LaShawn Spry
Your Purpose Pusher

I Have a Dream...but is that enough???

Have you ever had the pleasure (or utter gloom, depending on how you perceive them) of meeting a dreamer?? You know the kind of people I'm talking about. The ones that have a precise picture in their minds eye of the exact way their lives should be. I mean from career to the car they'll drive. The house they will own and the neighborhood in which the house should be built. They know the amount of money they want to make and the kind of person they will share it with. (oh yeah, they really are that detailed) Dreamers have a vivid imagination and picture of their fantasy life, which makes operating in the day to day mundane of real life somewhat difficult and for some it can be downright depressing. On the other hand, the beauty of a dreamer is that they are very much in tune with their inner desires and hopes. They are also very rarely driven by the almighty dollar. Instead, it is passion and desire that drives them. They are pushed by the hope that one day they will actually live outwardly, the inner dream. Yet the problem is, they have no concept of HOW to attain it!

Just in case you're wondering what makes me such a "know it all" when it comes to the dreamer, I myself used to be one!! As far back as I can remember my life was GRAND...in my mind anyway. As a matter of fact, I lived life more peacefully in my mind than I ever did in the real world. I also recognized at an early age that my perception of life was very much different from the people around me. I knew that I was special ( in a good way, lol) and I possessed some unique characteristics and gifts that would eventually make me Great. While all of this was fantastic, at 39 years old I realized not many things in my life match the picture I'd created for myself, since I was about five years old. Now the question becomes, "What am I missing?"

I began an intense self examination process. I picked apart my thoughts, actions, my work ethic as well as my focus. I then started to study the people I considered to be successful. People that were already living the life I wanted for myself. I found that while all of these people started with a dream, unlike me, they didn't stop there. Every successful person had vision! They created a clear picture of what they wanted to accomplish and then developed the strategy (step by step process) to make it happen. Both of these are essential to living out the dream. While the vision is your "What", meaning what it is that you are working towards. Strategy becomes your "How", exactly how you will make this happen. The moment you have a clear picture of where you're going and how you're going to get there, you stop merely being a dreamer, you become a Visionary!

Understand, while every visionary has a dream, not every dreamer is a visionary. Knowing this, if YOU want to live the life you've created in your mind and heart, simply having the dream is not enough. You must become a Visionary! As a visionary you have a clear and precise vision that you are able to clearly articulate that vision to your team. (Yes team! Contrary to popular belief, no one does it alone) Then you develop a strategy, which is the step by step process utilized to birth the vision. Lastly, you implement the vision!

I must be honest and say I still have those moments when I slip back into the abyss of dreamville. Now my visits are very different. Now I intentionally snatch up my dreams and turn them into vision! I have been blessed with a team of people that believe in the vision, so they motivate, encourage me and help me do the work. In turn, I am well on my way to making all of my dreams, my current reality.

Time to get out of your head dreamer and let's put in the necessary work to Becoming!!! Power and Purpose to you beautiful people!!

Lady Spry
Your Purpose Pusher

It's Never Too Late To Be What You Should've Been!!!!

Last night my husband and I had the humbling opportunity of hosting a segment on The Curve internet radio show on www.yopodner.fm. For me, the experience was both mind blowing and heart wrenching. I know that sounds oxymoronic. Truth is as excited as I was for the favorable circumstances, I was just as consumed by the immediate thought that, at almost 40 years old, I have yet to completely walk in and live out my passion and purpose!! My mind just kept repeating, "So much potential, so little time." How could I have allowed myself to waste so much time, miss so many opportunities. My thoughts became so loud on the ride home that I literally wanted to SCREAM!!!

Then it came to me. I've given this career 18 years of my life and now it's in my way. I'M DONE!!! I'm going to go out and make my dreams my realities! I'm going to stop talking about it and JUST DO IT!!! I have gifts and talents! I am gifted and I carry valuable information, from my knowledge and experiences, that I can use to help powerful women become their very best selves. I'm not sitting on all that God has placed in me anymore! I look over at my husband (Yeap, he's always my go to person when my thoughts take off and leave me). "Baby, I hate my job and I'm not going back. I'm going to pursue my purpose fulltime!!" I gave him statistic after statistic. I named women that are doing it and successful at it. I remind him of my gifts and passions. My creative ideas and the visions God has placed in me. He lets me go on and on and on. Then once I stop he says, "Baby, you never have to go back to a job you're not happy with, but how are going to fund the vision? Don't you think it would be wise to strategically plan your transition?" And there it was.. just the reality check I needed!

There are times when the oddest things will set fire to our tail feathers. For me it was the fact that I'm almost 40. For you it could be missed opportunities, closed doors, mental stagnation or even watching someone else function successfully in a lane you desire in your heart to move in. Whatever the source of the fire, REFUSE TO BE COMSUMED!! Use the fire as fuel to get you where you need to be!! These are the steps we're going to take to get us there...

1. Be clear about your Vision. Write it down and look at it EVERYDAY!
2. Develop a team that believes in you and your vision. These are not necessarily friends, but people that can see what you see. They will be your blades (thank you Evangelist Ryan), they sharpen your mind, push you to take risks, hold you accountable and keep you focused.
3. Create a strategic plan. Be clear about the steps you will need to take. DO YOUR RESEARCH!
4. Set realistic goals. Build a timeline and stick to it!
5. Persevere past obstacles. Through tears, fears, doubts, concerns, naysayers, folks opinions, Keep Going! QUITTING IS NOT AN OPTION!!!!
6. Remain focused on the big picture. Keep the reason you're doing all of this in front of you. This will keep you Motivated.
7. Put in the Hard Work. You won't accomplish anything merely talking and writing. Get up and get your grind on!!! This is when others will begin to take you seriously.
8. Finally, Endure until you physically see the results of your labor!!

You're not alone in this. We all have that "Should've Could've Would've" syndrome at one point or another, but we don't have to stay there!!! God woke you up because He still has Purpose within you! You haven't reached your full potential! You haven't yet maxed out in this life! And for those that are still stuck in that "ould've" syndrome, just know our truth is "It's never too late to be what you should've could've would've been!" Be inspired and inspire someone else!!

Love you all to pieces! LET'S GO!!!

Lady Spry
The Purpose Pusher